Monday, November 19, 2012
A story told entirely in pictures, because I am lazy and the idea amuses me. No context this time, I'll make a separate post for that, just pictures.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
This APD brought to you in full by boredom and procrastination.
We’re going to test drive something new with this entry. Yeah yeah, I know, I test drive new things with every entry and none of them stick. I’m okay with that, and we’re going to be consistent with my chaotic trail of inconsistency. Confused yet? Me too, so on with the show.
Tonight we’re going to have a word-of-the-entry, henceforth known as wote should I ever decide to use it again. Today’s wote is gingerdragonbitch. Yes, one word, because you can’t divide such heinousness into multiple parts for fear that each severed item grow into a new spawn of evil and terror.
A gingerdragonbitch, for those following along at home, is a horror so fearsome that you would rather be subjected to a Twilight marathon alongside Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black then listen to another word from this demonic bitch monster or share her presence for another moment for fear of your soul shriveling away in dread.
According to Google it looks something like this:
It’s okay, it scares me, too. I’m guessing that’s its “human form”, or as close to human as such a harbinger of the ginger apocalypse can get.
Inspiration for tonight’s wote came from the following conversation between her(highly ethical radical) and me(mega evil) -
Her: Nothing much, cept I might kill my stepmother in law.
Me: Stepmother in law. Wow that’s the weirdest spelling of gingerdragonbitch I’ve ever seen.
Her: Lmao! I love that! She’s not a ginger though L
Me: Some people are spiritual gingers.
Her: Lol I didn’t know that.
Me: Anyone can be a ginger as long as they have no soul.
Her: She definitely has no soul.
Me: Thus making her a ginger in spirit.
Her: I understand now.
Me: I do believe the only way to defeat the beast is to kill it with fire and chop off its head(s).
Her: Idk how the rest of the family would take me burning her to death and chopping off her heads
Me: With gratitude and marshmallows.
Oh crap, I should probably mention the girl whom I stole the photo from since I blatantly ignored the distribution clause of the photo and the little © action to post the pic so the least I could do is link to her profile on flickr. Should she follow the link back here and ask me to take it down - well that's one less fright on this blog.
I had another story of recent events, but it's more fun sharing it the same way I disclosed it to 'her'. I'm leaving the majority of this to the imagination, so the only context you need to know is this parting quote was made by me to the local law enforcement.
"Well officers, I was thinking 'gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee', then 'The dam has been breached!' and 'Release the Kraken!'"