Thursday, October 25, 2012

So, About that Finale...

            I lied.

            Not intentionally, mind you. This was meant to be my final entry. I was going to call it duck call, because swan song is too pretentious. I was also considering moving to Florida and starting a new page in the proverbial book of life.

            Cept that wouldn’t’ve been a new start, now would it? For me, given my history with the sunshine state, it’d have been more like revisiting old chapters. Sure there are familiar and friendly faces there, which is why I’ll be paying a visit in the very near future, but my role in that scene played out long ago. Florida had its chances to kill me; it tried and failed. I’ll be moving on to my next stop when I’m ready, and it will be a step forward. This is feeling a little heavy so allow me distract you with a picture of one of my oft mentioned tattoos.


There we go, can’t have any of that overrated ‘serious’ stuff on my blog.

            Moving on, not only am I staying where I’m at – visitation aside – I decided not to pull the plug on this little vanity project. It was created to amuse me and it still does, so I think I’ll keep it around until it fails to meet that agenda. The idea of starting and running a blog that actually adheres to some sort of topic or theme has been bouncing around my head but the whim hasn’t built up enough steam to actually act on as of now. ‘Sides, I have a novel to finish. Several novels, in fact, but one step at a time. You have to walk before you can run someone over, after all. Wait, that’s not how that goes. Oh well, you get the idea.

            Oh, and Marie, you remember her right? Of course you do, she’s awesome. In anticipation of her upcoming second book The Game Changer she’s doing yet another one of her giveaways of cool stuffs. I always enjoy these giveaways because it gives me an excuse to spam the contest with entries and I get to exercise my addiction to saying the same thing over and over in amusing repetitions. Plus I get to keep saying the same things in different ways that are funny. If you don’t see what I did there, kindly drop everything and search high and low until you find a sense of humor. Should you come across a wad of hundred dollar bills bound together by a rubber-band in your quest: the rubber-band is mine and I would like it back.



Ha, you didn’t see that one coming, did you? It’s okay, I know you were holding your breath in anxious anticipation of what could possibly follow up on the hakuna. Now you know. It’s matata. It’s funny if you’re drunk, I assure you. Least I’m drunk and I thought it was funny.

            Anyway, the moral of that was to buy Marie’s first book if you haven’t already and you might as well make plans to buy the upcoming one while you’re at it. The link to said giveaway, and even the added bonus of an excerpt was right there, you went right past it.

I have more to say, of course. A metric tonnage of funnage, really. Okay, maybe I don’t. Actually, I really should get back to working on Mystic Realm. Frost said it best: and miles to go before I sleep.

And miles to go before I sleep.



Thursday, October 18, 2012

Conclusion Comes a' Creeping


When I sat down at the keyboard, drink in hand, I had every intention of this being my curtain call. Parting is such sweet sorrow and all that jazz – but the Shakespeare quotes will have to wait until the credits roll with the finale that will follow this babble-fest. When logging into the blog I happened to notice my statistics. This will be my forty-first entry. The Geek and Greek Gods of old would have me strung up theatrically by my entrails if I crept this close to the omnipotent forty-two and fell short of that mythical threshold of incomparable epic-ness.  Don’t get me wrong, that would be an amazing way to depart from this scene and this world, but come on. It’s freaking forty-two.  You’re reading the droll dribble of a dialogue of a man with Hakuna Matata etched in ebon immortality into his flesh and the legendary Triforce inscribed on the back of his hand with the invisible ichor of ultraviolet ink. If that isn’t testament enough to the tantalizing appeal to the number that is the answer to life, the universe and everything: I’m wearing Ninja Turtle boxers. Yeah…this forty-two thing has to happen. I have no intention of living to see the age so I can at least achieve the number in this form.
            So, a quick update on what you’ve missed (insert “not you” comment here) since I last sat down long enough to let my fingers seize out letters and punctuation. Since the tattoo referenced in my political rant I’ve increased my ink count by either four or fourteen, depending on your method of measuring what constitutes a single tattoo. The day after the most recent one I was terminated from my place of employment – good thing I got it at a low rate – so the past week has given me an excess of free time that I’m accustomed to. I’ve used the time to do everything from barhopping – and believe me I have a story or two on that front – to working on my car with a smidge of crime fighting and ample applications of Netflix and video games. So, basically I’m making up for all the things I’ve been neglecting.

            Oh, and I might as well get this out there in as straightforward, if not melodramatic, manner as possible: I’m not entirely sure who my friends are these days. Lines have been drawn, loyalties tested, insecurities ran amok and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about a lot of things and a lot people. Of equal importance, I’m not sure how they feel about me. I’ll have to sort out and deal with this conflicting and accursed feelings some other time, as the eye of the storm has already passed me by and the unrelenting wrath of the- ahem- shit storm is back with an agenda of vicious proportions. I’m confident I’ll get through it; I always do. Just a matter of keeping my head above water while watching my back, ducking the drama as I roll with the punches and burying all who oppose me under a barrage of cliché and tired metaphor.

            Let’s see, what else do I have to report? I’m writing again, obviously, or at least trying to. Drinking again, also an obvious observation, but then again not too many people probably know or care when I take breaks from the reality-blurring recreation.  That’s really all I have to say for the moment, since this was an impromptu post to procrastinate the ending by a single entry. It’s been fun, and next time you tune in it will be to say goodbye.